Showing posts with label kalokohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kalokohan. Show all posts

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Directions on how to stretch your 20 pesos

Life is hard, and life's a compromise. I'm not complaining that life is unfair or tired of living. But there are some crazy people who complains too much about their lives and if you ask them if they want to get killed they'll definitely say I'm okay with this life.


I had a very tough day last Saturday, I want to buy barbeques(please ignore the spelling), the vendor was selling it for 8 pesos each, so without any worries I asked the vendor to hand me over five smoking, fresh off the grill barbeques. I was about to finish the fifth stick when I found out that I only have 20 pesos, I tried to compute if 5X8 is equal to 20, but I was wrong I should pay 40 pesos, which means I'm dead meat. If I can recover the other barbeques from my innards and re-assemble it again I'll definitely do it and give it back to the vendor and tell her that her barbeque sucks that I needed to return it (I can be evil sometimes).

My new barbeque place and yes bbq here is great

I probably need to use my looks and my charm this time to escape the situation. I started to talk to the vendor, telling her " you know what? your barbeque is really, really good with a huge grin on my face (she looked at me and said, pede bikol, di ako makaintindi englis noy). I also told her that I can write about her barbeque on my blogsite, I told her that this blogsite are being visited by a lot people from Japan, US, England, Dubai that if they read this they might come to your place and buy your barbeque, or probably even your store. She asked me, what's in it for me? I simply told her that she just need to give me a discount, 20 pesos for five barbeques and the vendor said "okay". I fled away with a huge grin on my face and a bloated tummy that afternoon. :-)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Confessions of a two-timer




Yup, I know, you're probably scratching your heads right now, why this kind of entry on this blogsite when I should be giving directions. Well, just read the banner of this blogsite it says there what we are. This time we'll "try" to give a remedy on one of the challenges that most men are facing, being a "two-timer".

Let's define what a two-timer is. From pathfinder's dictionary, a two-timer is someone who has two or more (we don't call them more timers even if they exceeded two) girlfriends or boyfriends at the same time. Two-timers are also known as "tulisan" which means sharp, sharp that they can lacerate or penetrate almost anything.


Let's find out why guys tend to be two-timers, one of my friends who is a we'll known two-timer in our group will tell us why they commit this kind of act. We will call him LB (not low blow but Lover Boy for short)

Pathfinder: How do you manage not to get caught by your girlfriend when you are dating other girls?

LB: First, I don't walk with the girl I'm dating, usually, I'm in front of her and pretending that I don't know her, when we dine, we usually look for a place that is hidden or with less people around. Or sometimes, if we go to a crowded place like a mall, I just pray that no one will see me with another girl.

Pathfinder: And do you think God will listen to your prayer?


LB: I'm not sure, I haven't caught yet. Sabi ngani kayan sa bikol kusugan mo lang ang boot mo (In our dialect it says "just have faith")


Pathfinder: I see, you're quiet remorseless with what your doing.

LB: (No reaction, but just a shoulder shrug, with a wide grin on his face, this guy is evil I mean pro)

Pathfinder: Why can't you stick with your girlfriend? ( I can hear Bodjie's Law of Gravity's "Sana dalawa ang Puso ko" music)


LB: (5 seconds of silence) I'm having doubts with myself if I still love my current girlfriend, we've been through a lot like walking along quince martirez (a park here in Naga City), holding hands, while eating fishball and ice cream all at the same time and imagine we're doing this while holding each others hands, there was even a time when I had an overdose of ice cream (durian flavor) and kwek-kwek (a street food, an egg coated with orange colored flour) I was rushed to the hospital, I found out that it was not a simple case of gluttony but it was a case of food poisoning, whoever the vendor was, I guess he bought those eggs from hell. She was there all the time to take care of me, and because of that incident we promised to love each other and not to eat kwek-kwek anymore, we will just stick to fishballs.
She even asked me if I'm decided to marry her, and without any second thoughts I said I'm not sure, I'm sure it broke her heart, I was honest to myself, I'm not even sure if I want to get married, with so many women who are willing to go out with me I don't think I'll be able to settle with just one girl. I guess I loved her for the good times we've shared (this guy is really evil) but when challenges come I felt so numb that I don't even want to see her or visit her at their house because I had a bad experience there. Whenever I visit her and her father is around he'll always get his revolver and clean it infront of me, isn't it scary? Will you still visit her if it will cost your life? Her father is well trained in negative reinforcement. I wasn't happy with what's happening, I needed to seek happiness somewhere else.

Typical guy, once he found someone, he'll forget all the things that you and your partner shared for years.

Pathfinder: Did you find that happiness?

LB: (Again with a huge grin on his face) I met this one girl online, from the very start we had this chemistry, first what I felt was biology (reproduction is part of biology) but that changed, I felt a respect towards her. Now we are dating, and I'm thinking of ending my relationship with my girlfriend because I can feel that I found the one. She asked me if I'll marry her, I instantly said yes. Then scratched my head after saying that, looks like I'll be putting myself in serious confusion, shambles and trouble this time, but it's okay, I'm falling for her.

Pathfinder: (5 seconds of silence, 10 seconds of scratching my head, ended the conversation, and gave LB a slap, I mean pat on his back)

Moral Lesson (if there were any)

For girls, ask your father not to clean his revolver whenever your boyfriend is around, tell your paps that it's not a good gesture of welcoming someone.

For guys, if your girlfriends father showed you his revolver tell him that your family is a gun enthuciasts as well, tell him that you have uzi's, mortars, and hand grenades, I'm sure he'll get intimidated and will go back to his room and wont show his gun and face again when you're around.